& I want to make a confession cos if I don't do that, my heart completely pricks me badly ):
I miss you, my Precious Boyf. I don't know why, but I miss you so badly today. I don't know if its my heart causing all this confusion inside me, or if its my brain telling me all those negative things. I only know that I am missing you so dearly. Wanting to hug you so tightly & whisper to you how much I love you. You've been the guy always there for me, but somewhere inside me causes me to be so unstable. Causing all this funny emotions inside me. You know I am always loving you, but just today something makes me think this will change forever. My brain kept telling me, Desmond has changed, he is no longer the man he was once to be. I beg to differ. Desmond is still the same to me, the same Boyf which I have since 1o Oct 2oo8. Everything is just my wild imagination, I am just scaring myself. As I gaze upon your eyes, I don't know why but I sense love in your eyes. Despite the fact you always changed your eyes to something else, I still can sense the love there. The love inside your eyes. That warmth feeling running through. I know I am just scaring myself, but I have no idea why. I feel so uncomfortable. Hating this loathesome feeling, it is so freakish. I hate the awkward suckish feeling and I don't want it to come back. It makes me sad. Makes me feeling all uncomfortable. Desmond, you are the one who taught me how to love and to be loved. Don't give up loving me yet keep showing me endless love, will you? I hate negative feeling running through. It drains my energy. Maybe due to the upcoming tests, I am scaring myself. Fearing myself. Causing many unknown fears. I am just scaring myself. I know I will be fine, but it is still a matter of time. Desmond, I know you love me but sometimes your words make me lack of secure, make me fear. But I know you meant no harm, but thoughts are still evil. Always making me feeling so rowdyy. You been the unique guy in my heart, and will always be. When you are sick, you torn my heart. But I will use my entire heart to make you get well soon, be better again. Many things we have gone through & we are going to stay strong and lasting. Time have proven you are all I ever wanted. But today is really not my day. Causing all this unhappiness inside me. Today makes me fear how much you do not want me. I don't know why. I don't know if its a dream or what is causing all this confusion inside me. Dispute happens, but stand by me, will you? Honestly speaking, actions of yours maybe of fun but it makes me feel so uncomfortable ): Stupid feelings always making me feel so useless. Whatever can I do to stop all this useless feeling? Damn emotions. Stirring so many shitty emotions. D: Unhappiness always comes & I sure hope it really fades soon. Drains my energy, and everything. Oh well, so sickening. Let's just hope all this sickening stress will be over cos it cause nothing but hindrance to my life! D: Negative emotions sux. & I do hate it so much. Let those freaking shitty stuffs go awayyy. I shall just let it fade away soon. Oh well.

& Don't worry, my love
Nothing will happen to me
Let's work hard for our test
& Smile smile for mee :]
Ohya, GET WELL SOON love <3

Labels: #1001

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