That Sweetest Feeling Is By You

I do not appreciate your love anymore.
I hate myself a lot more than anything else ): Because no one seemed to appreciate me for whatever I am doing. Nobody actually cares and tell me good things I want to hear, yet only give all those sarcastic remarks that I didn’t want to hear. Regardless of what good stuffs I do, I only get back unhappy stuffs. Whatever have I done to receive all this coming ): Grumpy me. I know Boyf did a lot to help me at this point, but which person except him knows that I am really working hard? Humans only know how to say all sorts of unhappy things on someone but they just don’t know that it is not what I want to hear. Things are never correct. Regardless what I do, all I know is that everything I do is never correct just because of several mistakes I committed. Whatever can I change their mind? I think it is merely impossible. Whatever I do, I just get condemn & bought to hell ): Everyone loves to be called something sweet, yet all I get to hear is all those vulgarities coming out from their mouth. I know previously I did a lot of mistakes in my little life, but I am changing now. Is it really too late that I am changing? Only he is not giving up on me, yet everyone is giving up on me. I don’t know why but I have been feeling lost lately. No one to run to except him but I got to be prepared for what’s coming when I tell him a problems. Everything in my little life is revolving. Time stop no man, yet it just came on ticking tocking all the way without stopping leaving me not knowing what else can I do? I am so tired of hearing whatever is coming from their mouth. Cos they are the ones who gave birth to me, provide me with all my needs and wants. I only can say, time has changed and people changed eventually adapting to the changes. Whether what happen next time, I can’t apprehend yet accept the facts only. The only thing left for me to do so. Let it be and eventually things will go the way you never want it to be. Good or bad, leave it to God. Cos by trying too much, you result in hurting badly so it is best to just be yourself and not attempt in anything else. Cos that is the only way you can protect yourself from being hurt. So therefore, whether they love me back or not, I leave it to Nature. Let Nature Takes It Course. <3 For My Boyfriend; Desmond I love you to the guy who changed my way of loving someone, changed my many perceptions I always have in a relationship. It is impossible to revert back to me before. I have met the guy who changed me so much more than what I have expected. My guy isn’t those guys outside who are so rich, willing to spend bucks and bucks of money on their girls. Yet my guy is the type who saves up to the future and slowly spends it. He doesn’t spend on me a lot, yet occasionally only. I don’t receive as many gifts like how I give him. I may want a certain gift I keep bugging him. He doesn’t give yet get pisses off when I kept repeating. My boyfriend is definitely a very unique guy that I come across amongst my relationships with other guys. We have gone through many thick and thin just to be what we are currently. It is really difficult to maintain this relationship with my Boyfriend. But I am glad at the end of many months; we are still back as one & not fighting as much as we do previously. I must say wanting to be this strong until today, it takes a lot of time and ability to manage this little love story. After going through so many things, I am glad that unhappy times are lesser and cutting down so much more than usual. Whatever it is, destiny really guided me a lot. My Boyfriend guided me in my studies, showed me paths in life and teaching me how to be a better person. Without him, I wouldn’t be who I am now. Seriously speaking, I love him more than anything else, more than anyone else. People always tell me relationships in my age wouldn’t last, it will just end eventually but I want to believe in a miracle, believe that my Boyfriend and I can be together till we reach old age. I know it is hard to maintain, but I want to give it a try. Every moment spending with him is really fruitful. I love my Boyfriend’s care, concern, kisses, hugs, misses, loves, warmth, security, happiness and many others. He gave me what I never felt before in my little life. He let me embrace in a love that I never felt before. I will really make an effort to make this little love story last long with his and my love. With our hearts standing as one, I know we can fight through all obstacles and be as one couple to stand united. My love for him is unrequited and unconditional. I know my Boyfriend is the same as me, same in the way that our love is beating for each other. His love gave me the strength to keep on going on in life. Like I said, I can’t imagine life without my Boyfriend. I think I will be lost, will no longer be me. Seriously he is the Precious Little Boyfriend I have since the day I found him, & I am his Precious Little Girlfriend of his. I must say, thank you for loving me & never stop loving me. Without you, I know I will be lost. Dearest, I love you always (L)

For the man who hurt me badly.
Thank you for leaving my life completely. I hate you for being such a painful memory until today, really hates you. You also made me into a crybaby. I hate you for that. I hate you for so many things and I can’t believe that I once loved you so much. So painfully till my heart get so mad when I think of you. Never have I thought you can be a guy who makes me feel so unhappy whenever I thought of you. Your horrible memories linger around me despite me being attached. The hurt you created is inerasable. I loathe your presence. Every time I recalled the two months and nine days you gave me, I feel disgusted. I feel that “Thanks to you, I am still so inferior towards love”. I hate everything about you, but at least my Boyfriend is definitely way better than you. Better so much more compared to you. Crap you idiot. I am relieved you left me quickly but I hate you for making me crying to easily. I really hate you for that. But thankfully, you are gone for good. But please stop hurting girls anymore. Your love has honestly hurt many girls. I don’t care who you fall in love but please don’t treat them like a game. Seriously speaking, a piece of meatloaf like you shouldn’t be hurting woman. I just say, thank you for being gone for good, cos I found a guy better than you, so much better.

To my Best Friend that I hope for her return.
Until today, I can’t find a reason why you left me. I really do not know why. We have been together for 7 years and you are gone just like that. I have no idea why you left me, why you kept me bleeding. The day you left during the second time, I kept crying. Crying tears ): How on earth can I get you back again? I really want to know why you left me bleeding so much. You leave me completely soak in the bags of tears. Stop doing this, you left and I am really lost. Please be back, but can I get an explanation too? I don’t know why suddenly things are like that, why why why? I am clueless. Being together for so long, I thought you really understand but can you really understand, not showing me signs of being so blurred and everything. What can I do to get you back? Confused in my world, I know you are gone but I still believe you will be back again. But I guess I have to see how things are going to go, am I right? I guess I just got to believe in fate. Fate to bring us back again, but it is back to whether you want it or not. What should I do again ): I am clueless. I guess I got see how it goes already. I guess so. I shall not think and think positively. You have been the one I always loved, and always standing there for you. I really hope things can be fine again. Be alright and not having all this unnecessarily things. But I just got to accept facts, and hope for your return in silence. I pray deeply in my heart.

& Many different things are happening in my little life
I don’t know how to handle them fully
But I am glad I got my Boyfriend to stand by me
With him, I am staying strong & fit
Glad to stand strong with him and not backing down
Thank God and Boyfriend.
Seriously thank you very much.

Labels: #1025

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