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Tell you the truth i lost my faith in you
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There's a party in my closet calling all skeletons
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Emo Emo ):
Sunday, January 31, 2010 AT 12:44:00 AM ★
Being Emotional Make One Bleed So Badly Sometimes
For a change, can I feel emo sometimes and type this emo post ):
I am reaching my sweet 18 years old this coming Feb 12. But I don't feel anticipated at all, seriously. I know I got a loving Boyfriend to celebrate for me, but I don't have my best friend there. Well, I confess all the years, my birthday has never been celebrated by family, like you know singing birthday song for me & feeling best. Yet the memory I have only is few years back, they bought me to Delifrance to eat. That's all, after the couselling session. Woah, right? After chatting, then I have that only one chance. Well, every single year since Primary 5, I have Winnie to celebrate with me but this year, I have no idea ): She always pamper me with dozens of gifts, but it seemed this year I doubt I will have. I wish I have, cos she is the only friend that give me every single year since we know each other. Well, it is nice to have a Boyfriend celebrating for you. Despite it is not on the actual day, but I am still happy for at least someone bothered. I just feel envious to those who can celebrate sweet 16 & many others happily with their friends, family & the one they loved. Unlike me, I got barely anyone. Last year, Mum treated me to Jack's Place to eat with Boyfriend. That's all. The joys and the significant of birthday seemed to disappear. I confess, everytime I see people celebrating their birthday, I wish I was them. Feeling so happy and shy cos they got their huge amount of friends, family and even their lover to celebrate for them. Giving them dozens of presents and feeling cloud 9. Well, have I ever said before that although I don't have such celebration, those really big ones, I tends to celebrate it that way to people close to me. Cos I always love to see those smiles in people's faces or else what's for I celebrate so grand for my Boyfriend's birthday, for Winnie's birthday. I spend big bucks but I have no regrets cos it is worth it to see someone smile for a change. Like I said before, a smile make a difference. Boyfriend has already told me what is going to do on my birthday & he has already bought the things for me. One pink Zinc bag & the chocolates I always wanted. I am also heading to Seoul Garden to eat, he told me everything already. So therefore, I am grateful at least he is there. Although it is really simple, but I am glad. I confess, I thought that he is going to do things unique but he is that simple guy I know since we got together so no complaints. I do not regret, but that's him, of course. Budget is tight for him, so I understand. Can't celebrate on the actual day but still, I am fine. No matter what, I don't wish to be the priority in his life. I rather his family comes first than me, cos I feel shitty if I do such a thing. Oh well, many things have changed. Boyfriend and I are together for almost 15 monthsary now. I don't wish to change anything or cause anything to happen. I wish to have a nice and memorable celebration, but I know its impossible ): Well, I don't know if any ITE friends do remember but still, I am glad to know them. Well, this post is not about pity, just venting out what's inside me. Cos I don't like that feeling. Sweet 18 feels like any other day all of a sudden, so young yet so pathetic. Oh well, no ranting but still, I can't help it ): I think Boyfriend ever see this post, he will start scolding me. Wish he can just console me, & tell me he will make me happier, not always scolding me. But still, what matters is that I have to maintain my happiness regardless what. I don't want all this affecting me, cos I have many tests coming along the way. So therefore, I just got to be happy. Oh well, sweet 18 has turned to ordinary 18. On a brighter tone, I can watch M18 movies :) It doesn't sound happy, I guess so. Cos I am really not in the mood, just wish I can have those kind of birthdays, but still I want thank God for giving me a sweet Boyfriend. Let's just hope one day Boyfriend is fine with me hanging out with my friends. I am quite sad cos I can't hang out of them much due to Boyfriend's disapproval ): Oh well. I guess I am pretty much emo-ing right now, but I guess after a goodnight sleep I will be fine. Okay. Done with my ranting, I am going off.
I am reaching my sweet 18 years old this coming Feb 12. But I don't feel anticipated at all, seriously. I know I got a loving Boyfriend to celebrate for me, but I don't have my best friend there. Well, I confess all the years, my birthday has never been celebrated by family, like you know singing birthday song for me & feeling best. Yet the memory I have only is few years back, they bought me to Delifrance to eat. That's all, after the couselling session. Woah, right? After chatting, then I have that only one chance. Well, every single year since Primary 5, I have Winnie to celebrate with me but this year, I have no idea ): She always pamper me with dozens of gifts, but it seemed this year I doubt I will have. I wish I have, cos she is the only friend that give me every single year since we know each other. Well, it is nice to have a Boyfriend celebrating for you. Despite it is not on the actual day, but I am still happy for at least someone bothered. I just feel envious to those who can celebrate sweet 16 & many others happily with their friends, family & the one they loved. Unlike me, I got barely anyone. Last year, Mum treated me to Jack's Place to eat with Boyfriend. That's all. The joys and the significant of birthday seemed to disappear. I confess, everytime I see people celebrating their birthday, I wish I was them. Feeling so happy and shy cos they got their huge amount of friends, family and even their lover to celebrate for them. Giving them dozens of presents and feeling cloud 9. Well, have I ever said before that although I don't have such celebration, those really big ones, I tends to celebrate it that way to people close to me. Cos I always love to see those smiles in people's faces or else what's for I celebrate so grand for my Boyfriend's birthday, for Winnie's birthday. I spend big bucks but I have no regrets cos it is worth it to see someone smile for a change. Like I said before, a smile make a difference. Boyfriend has already told me what is going to do on my birthday & he has already bought the things for me. One pink Zinc bag & the chocolates I always wanted. I am also heading to Seoul Garden to eat, he told me everything already. So therefore, I am grateful at least he is there. Although it is really simple, but I am glad. I confess, I thought that he is going to do things unique but he is that simple guy I know since we got together so no complaints. I do not regret, but that's him, of course. Budget is tight for him, so I understand. Can't celebrate on the actual day but still, I am fine. No matter what, I don't wish to be the priority in his life. I rather his family comes first than me, cos I feel shitty if I do such a thing. Oh well, many things have changed. Boyfriend and I are together for almost 15 monthsary now. I don't wish to change anything or cause anything to happen. I wish to have a nice and memorable celebration, but I know its impossible ): Well, I don't know if any ITE friends do remember but still, I am glad to know them. Well, this post is not about pity, just venting out what's inside me. Cos I don't like that feeling. Sweet 18 feels like any other day all of a sudden, so young yet so pathetic. Oh well, no ranting but still, I can't help it ): I think Boyfriend ever see this post, he will start scolding me. Wish he can just console me, & tell me he will make me happier, not always scolding me. But still, what matters is that I have to maintain my happiness regardless what. I don't want all this affecting me, cos I have many tests coming along the way. So therefore, I just got to be happy. Oh well, sweet 18 has turned to ordinary 18. On a brighter tone, I can watch M18 movies :) It doesn't sound happy, I guess so. Cos I am really not in the mood, just wish I can have those kind of birthdays, but still I want thank God for giving me a sweet Boyfriend. Let's just hope one day Boyfriend is fine with me hanging out with my friends. I am quite sad cos I can't hang out of them much due to Boyfriend's disapproval ): Oh well. I guess I am pretty much emo-ing right now, but I guess after a goodnight sleep I will be fine. Okay. Done with my ranting, I am going off.
& I pray for a Miracle to happen
I really want a Miracle to happen to me
Because I am feeling sad, emotional ))):
Can my birthday be a day that I really loving it? :(
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