I am clueless on how Boyf♥ feels for me sometimes I see so many pretty ladies and I feel inferior to the max. I am also not that type of girl so sweet, so gentle, so elegant, so pretty. All the beautiful attributes of a sweet loving girl is so not me. Instead, I am like a girl who is stubborn, with flaws, suck family issues, always so stupid and many other reasons that I can think of completely. Well, honestly I do admit I want to know why Boyf♥ will fall for me right from the beginning. Maybe I am thinking too much or just curious about his feelings towards me. I know it is silly to ask him all this question so I ask myself and wonder sometimes. Well, I hate myself when I have bad flaws but I guess that's what makes me outstanding. I am not saying I am the best of the best, just feeling completely curious, that's all. Maybe it is really silly to say such things b'coz who will actually bother to give you an answer? On the street, they're so many girls for me to admire when they walk past with their love. Yet I am so fat/ugly/not gentle and whatever more, he can still be with me & it is not just 3 months, 6 months, it is coming to 2 years. Seriously, I am clueless. Second yearsary is coming, many things are coming! Yet I fear more than I await. Instead of feeling excited for this coming two years, I am nervous and afraid. Will it be like our first year. 10'10'10 is coming, but I am feeling afraid. Okay, that's whatever. Ignore that part. Yeah, maybe I am just thinking too much which results in me saying so much. I guess I will sort out my thoughts, just a matter of when. In fact, I should not find a reason why he love yet just love him with all my heart. I have never been with a guy this long and this is my first time. He also has a dozens of flaws but I accept them and be that different girl for him. Yes, somethings I really hate a lot but what to do? In a relationship, this is the time to give and take. It is not always one give and give but never talk or otherwise. Love is indeed strange. Lasting is just a word, it is the process that makes you last with someone. Be with someone when you are over and ready to do a leap. Don't stick to the same path or else you will be stuck there for life. Honestly. That's what I felt towards relationship. I have seen/heard many relationships and even experiences. Well, love is not about sex. It is walking the steps of being what. Yes, I do get angry with my Boyf♥ a lot, but I kept mum. But sometimes I just got the urge to say, but I choose to give & take. But endurance has it limits. It is not necessarily I can endure every single thing, just when I will blow. Well, he is demanding a lot of others but I am willing to open big arms and accept him b'coz I love him. People say we are like husband and wife. But all this doesn't matters, what matters is he love me. But I don't get why he love me when I have so many flaws. I want to slim, be pretty & he will love me more. But it is so hard, I am afraid I will fail ! I am doing my best, somehow. Honestly, sometimes when there's a time where you feel like giving up a relationship, you have to try your best to hold on, keep holding on. Sometimes because of how much you love him/her, work hard for it! Efforts can be seen by the one above. Words can't say it all, you understand, I understand. That's enough. Love begun when you decide to take a leap. No point saying how much you love someone, prove it by your actions, not talking big stuffs. So what if you can talk, if you don't know how to express love, isn't a waste of time? Right.. My Boyf♥ has his flaws and I have flaws but that's how I grow up! Okay, maybe I am just reflecting more than ever. Okay, stop talking and time for me to sleep. Final say is this..,

When you are in a relationship, think about all the factors.
Are you over with someone and willing to give/take in a relationship,
They are endless quarrels that will come along and things causing conflicts.
Are you seriously ready for this? You don't need reason yet find out yourself.
Being together is not always all the honey moon period
Yet it is the times that bring you together with someone fighting it all.
I am not saying I am a love expert, but this is what I truly feel inside me.
I ain't referring to anyone, just want to say how much in a relationship is.
I have friends who last, who doesn't but this is human nature, what to do?
They're flirts, devoted and whatever shit you can think of, which do you belong?
What's love without sweetness, sourness, bitterness & all the flavors!?!??!?!
Which is the thing you truly want in a relationship, is he/she the one you want?
Oh dear, I am talking so much! I am going off already, time to sleep & be happy!
Everyone wants to fall in love, go ahead and try but remember true love will only come when you are willing to catch it and be happy with that someone.