Hope Everything Will Be Better
After pouring out my feelings, I am feeling so much better. I am way better, alot better. I don't know if he actually listens or not but I seriously feel better. My heart feels at ease. Seriously, much better than what I expected. I guess, it was time for me to tell him everything inside my heart. Maybe I am talking like shit to him, and all my blabbering but I swear it makes me feel a lot better. I don't know why. I guess, it was time that I told him everything especially when it comes to my heart. Oh well. He has a shit personality. But still I love him the way he is. We may quarrel but still I do hope all things will go well after last night. I hope so. I must say, he is the one who changed my life and I feel a lot of gratitude inside him. I am very happy to have him by my side. I am super glad that he is one guy that really teach me a lot of things. He is one man that teach me a lot of things. I don't know why but still, I love him the way he is. In my life, no one has teach me anything including my blood parents. No one does except he really makes the effort to change me, and make me a better person. He make me into someone else, someone that is completely different. A girl that believes in future and wanting to change myself. I want to and I really want to make myself a different girl. I am sick of leaving a useless life. I want him proud, I want him to be happy with me, make him feel proud right beside me. I suck in a lot of things but honestly speaking, without him I won't be who I am today. I don't know why but I owe him all. Owe him everything especially when it comes to my little life. Without him, I won't be who I am today. Because of him, I am who I am. I don't know why but seriously, I want to be happily ever after with him.

Guess what? I admit he scold me, he yell at me but I know his characters. His characters maybe like shit but he is the one that I love. I love him for who he is cos I know nothing else can gratitude him. If what he enjoys doing, I am fine with it. Because he is the one and I am fine with whatever he is doing. I know alot of people may not be used to with the fact of how he treat me but honestly, please do not misunderstand. He loves me a lot but I disappoint him a lot. Disappoint in a sense of I tends to not caring his emotions and not caring about him. Things like that etc. Many things. Like I always say, it is not easy to last long, not easy to come this far. I am thankful to have him. It's me who make him so disappoint. I don't know how to say but I really wish I will be able to change everything. I don't blame anyone but myself. I don't wish to disappoint him further. Just now after saying, I feel better. Tears kept crying while I speak my heart. I don't know if he really listens to everything but I am thankful that he makes my heart at ease. I guess whatever it is, this is life. Oh well, I love him so much but I tends to do silly things but what to do? Honestly he made me realize that I have to lead my life properly, lead my life better. I am glad to actually think that he is like a mirror to scold me, say me, yell me, whatever. His love and everything are the best thing ever. I don't ask for more. Maybe I do hate him for treating me like shit sometimes but I know it is for my own good. For the sake of me, he is doing everything even if he has to scold me or what. I won't say or comment but its his actions that changed me. He taught me many valuable lessons in life until today, I swear. He changed me a lot. I guess I have said that alot of times but still, I have to say alot of times. Guess I am just being weird again.

I guess it is just that, I want to say a lot of my feelings. After blogging that day, I thought we will be better but I guess his words and everything that makes me feel like shit. Afterall, it is still triggered. I thought I can keep my mouth shut. But still, I pour all my emotions, say everything. Did I do something wrong? I hope not. ): I am worried that he doesn't listen but I feel at ease that I pour everything. Oh well, am I madness? I think so. I did some really bad things sometimes, but I really hope both of us will be fine. I hope so. Guess he is all that I want but I really hope all things come well. Insanity is always inside me. Everything he does is always for my own good, but maybe to other he isn't. Oh well, I don't wish to think further yet I will just cherish our love together. I want to be a different girlfriend, a better girlfriend as well. I don't know what's the future like but I want to build a future for me and him because I love him. Guess that's all I want to say.

& Please know how much I hope to change myself.
I want to do it for me, you, and our future.
I don't know if we have a future together or not,
But I seriously is thankful for you appearing in my life.

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